I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
