ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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