She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize
