also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
we should paint friendship bongs
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
