he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Randomize
