Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
