Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
