woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
