I think i sorta joined a cult last night
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
