Fuck appropriateness.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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