I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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