So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Randomize
