you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
