EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
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