I could make wine with my vomit
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
