Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
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