So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
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