All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
