i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Randomize
