I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Randomize
