Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
of course. lets lasso hookers.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Randomize
