I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
