I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Randomize
