Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
