I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
