i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
You made out with two different species that night
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Randomize
