my mouth tastes like poor choices
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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