your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
