I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Randomize