so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Randomize