watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
