My pussy is not your playground.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
