She said her name was "party"
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize
