i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Randomize
