Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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