I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
