Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
