At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize