I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize