Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
