I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
We are two peas in an std pod
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
