It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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