in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
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