My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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