As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
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