Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
