Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
