I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
