The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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