You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
Randomize
