Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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