Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
