Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Randomize
