She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
