Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Randomize
