If you die in college, do you die in real life?
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
