my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize