thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
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