I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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