So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
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