just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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