ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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