That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
