Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
