There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
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